


Yesterday's Blues

by Pfain Ryder (Cat_Moon)



Series: Angelfire Universe [6]
Category: Quantum Leap
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-28
Updated: 2019-06-28
Packaged: 2020-05-28 15:51:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19397365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cat_Moon/pseuds/Pfain%20Ryder
Summary: Apparently the universe has a wicked sense of humor, since Sam keeps leaping into the stream of his own life.  This time, he's the best man of Donna's first fiancé.  So what choice will he make this time?  Anglefire Universe.





	Yesterday's Blues

_Temptation makes us fall from grace_

_but the angels were sinners_ _and the sinners saints_

_Forgive yourself 'cause we're all the same_

_Everybody rides on the karma train_

_Th_ _inkin' about yesterday's blues_

\--Ballad of Youth, Richie Sambora

March 3, 1981:

I was popping in, she was popping out -- the girl from the cake, that is. It wasn't hard to figure out I'd leaped into the middle of a bachelor party, I've been to enough of them. As long as I wasn't the girl in the cake, it wasn't a bad situation. I pinpointed the doomed man, he was being teased that his wife-to-be would find out he had his head down the front of the girl's blouse. It seemed like a relatively quiet bash, not particularly wild. I counted seven drunken men, laughing and vying for the only female in the room. I felt sorry for her.

I barely got myself settled in when I heard the familiar sound of my resident hologram making his appearance. He had an instinct for certain situations, and broke all quantum speed records getting there to 'help' me.

"Hey -- a bachelor party!" Al looked around approvingly.

"Aren't you tired of these by now?" I asked, amused.

"You kiddin'? It's the best part of the whole deal. How is it?"

"Can't hold a candle to any of yours," I replied truthfully. You don't know the meaning of wild until you've been to a Calavicci stag party. They are legend.

One of the guys shoved a can of beer into my hand. "Don't hang behind, Marty, join the party. Gotta give old Chester Brown our best send off -- after tomorrow he's gonna be Chester Alesee."

They laughed snidely. Al developed an abrupt coughing fit. I stared at him, but he wouldn't meet my eyes. Chester...I wracked my brain desperately, but came up empty. Although I remembered the leap where Al and I had switched places, my life with Donna was still a blank. Was this the man she stood up?

Al was fidgeting with his handlink and seemed to have gotten his control back. "You're Marty Schafer. It's March 3, 1981, Landover, Maryland. You're here to keep Marty from breaking up with his girlfriend."

He was peering closely at me and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. "Bathroom," I made a general announcement and located it. Al was there when I closed the door behind me.

"Bathroom again, this is getting boring real fast," he complained. "Why can't you just act like you're so drunk you're talking to yourself?"

"Forget it." I waited to see what would be forthcoming from him, amusing myself with studying my reflection in the mirror in the meantime. Marty was okay looking, on the plain side. But he had an honest, friendly face. I approved.

Al was watching me. "What are you, one of those narcissists?"

I turned to him. "It's not _my_ face," I pointed out.

"Sam!" Al admonished in a surprised tone. It would be his turn for shocks his time around. "You don't seem very...concerned about this leap," he ventured, clearly trying to feel me out.

"I'm here to keep Marty with his girlfriend," I repeated dutifully. "What happened to them?"

"Well..." he hedged.

This was going to be good. We hadn't talked about Donna or my brief time home. He assumed I'd forgotten, and I let him think it. There was no sense in worrying them unnecessarily. Besides, I figured it was high time I had some secrets of my own. Learning to let out more of the real me, I was testing, evaluating who I wanted to be. It was going to be a long process, and I was ever afraid sudden Swiss-cheese turns would take the choice out of my hands. It was scary knowing I might wake up the next day with an entirely new set of memories...or none at all...

My one constant however, was Al. That never changed, he never changed. I knew I'd go crazy if not for that, my only certainty in this life. Which is why my secret was part revenge. It hurt knowing he kept things from me, weighing what he said like I was some little kid needing to be protected from the world. Maybe as I gained my confidence, I could convince him to be more open. I needed that. He was all I had.

"Sam, I know you caught the last name of Chester's intended."

"So he was the first jerk Donna was engaged to." The situation was beginning to clear.

"Yes. Listen to me very carefully. You're not to do anything to interfere with what goes on. Your only concern--"

"Is Marty and his girl," I supplied.

"Yes. Cathy. Some things happen that...spook them on marriage. Ziggy's giving this a 98%."

 _Interfere?_ There was an interesting concept I was going to have to explore further. I already had a strange feeling I was there for a bigger reason still unknown to me. "Got it, Al."

He scrutinized me, unnerved by the apparent ease which I accepted the situation without question. "You're acting very strangely, Sam."

"I've learned my lesson," I said simply.

He looked doubtful. "That'll be the day. Listen, I'll see you soon, I got some stuff to do."

 _I'll bet you do,_ I thought as he left. I helped myself to another beer and rejoined the party. A guy they called Mike grabbed me by the shoulder in a drunkenly friendly way.

"How's the best man?" he asked me.

 _Best man? Oh boy._ "Great," I smiled, hoping to get some information out of him.

"You're getting along okay now, with Cathy?"

"Why shouldn't I be?" Something in his tone alerted me to things unsaid.

Mike sighed. "Hey, I know how skittish she is, after all, she's my sister. She took my divorce from Karen harder than I did! It seems like each busted-up relationship she sees brings her that much closer to giving up on love. I know you two are meant to be together and I don't want to see what happened to me happen to you. But hey--" he brightened. "Lucky for you, Chester and Donna are gonna show her what true love is."

"Right." I slapped him on the back, then left him to the others.

I wandered out onto the terrace of the apartment building. It was chilly, but the view of the stars was compelling. I stayed, wanting some time to myself.

I had it figured out. Donna's leaving Chester at the altar must have been the proverbial straw that broke Cathy's back. I was there to convince her to stay with Marty, regardless. Regardless, or...

No wonder Al was sweating this one. He figured sooner or later I'd find out Donna didn't marry Chester and then start asking questions he didn't want me asking. How he expected to get out of it, I couldn't wait to find out. He was probably back conferring with Beeks or Donna on how best to deal with the situation at that very moment.

He warned me against tampering with Donna's life. But I'd already done that once, and made a mess out of it. Instead of a brilliant scientist, involved in her own projects, she was somebody's wife, waiting year after year for him to come home, while he was off realizing his dreams. I never meant for it to happen, and I didn't know what I'd done to cause it. I've always believed a woman is a person first. Haven't I? It wasn't fair to Donna. Oh, she'd eventually get tired of waiting, I was certain of that, but all those wasted years...there I was with a perfect opportunity to repent. The hell with Ziggy's 98%. I had a suspicion my temperamental computer wasn't telling the whole story. Or rather, he was leaving something out. If Donna leaving Chester at the altar was the last straw for Cathy, then preventing it would complete the leap. Al wouldn't see it that way because his mind was permanently set toward not changing personal history. But I figured if I was really meant to be with Donna, then we'd be together in the end anyway, somehow.

I doubted it. Besides, if I found her waiting for me when I finally came home to stay...if I ever did...would I even be the man she was waiting for? With all the changes I've gone through, I'm not the same person who fell in love with her in the first place. This too, wasn't fair to her. And it was all my fault.

I went back inside to thaw out. Guys were falling asleep around me, draped over and under various pieces of furniture. I sought out Chester.

"Great party! You guys are the greatest," he told me happily.

"How's the nerves?" I asked, wondering how I was going to ease into this one. I didn't have much time.

"No cold feet for _this_ groom," he said solemnly, "I've never been so certain of anyone in my life."

"There's something you should know about Donna."

"What are you talking about?" he asked, confused.

"I was talking to Cathy," I lied. "She said Donna's really scared at the idea of getting married. Something in her past traumatized her."

"What are you trying to say?" He was beginning to get angry. "She wouldn't leave me, we're going to be married tomorrow."

 _I thought so too, once_. I could feel for this poor guy, so much in love with her he couldn't see the signs. _Not that I had..._ "She might. Do me a favor. Tell her you love her, but that you don't want to own her. That you'll let her be herself, but never leave her like her father did." Everything I was wishing I'd said made me plead for him to understand.

"They reconciled."

"Too late. It's still within her, eating away. You've got to reassure her."

"At three o'clock in the morning? She'll kill me."

"Go home and call her," I pressed.

"Well...maybe. It would sure impress her. She was expecting me to be so drunk I'd pass out and barely wake up in enough time for the wedding."

"So prove her wrong," I told him.

Something in my tone must have gotten through to him. He left.

XXX

Me, I found my own apartment. I slipped inside gratefully. Cathy...at least I hoped it was Cathy...was asleep in the bed. I climbed in next to her, snuggling against her warm skin. I was going to do my best to see this couple stayed together. I began kissing her neck.

She woke, turning to me. "Marty?"

"Nobody else. Ever," I threw in for good measure. I pulled her to me, locking us in a passionate kiss. The buttons on her nightgown yielded as easily as she did.

No, I'm not a choir boy, despite popular rumor. The idea that I wouldn't be able to perform with a woman if I knew I was married... Well, let's face it, there were times when I would be trapped in a leap forever, if I didn't. Which wouldn't do much for my marriage. On the other hand, sex doesn't solve everything. There were plenty of times where another solution could be found. I could understand why Donna would want to believe I'd been a prude the whole time. I didn't know if Al did, I'd like to think he wasn't that stupid...on the other hand, he sure acted surprised whenever I was with a woman. Could it be I was really that...that... repressed?

_Nah, couldn't be._

I pulled off Cathy's nightie, tossing it on the floor with my own clothes.

"Oh...Marty..."

XXX

Morning came too soon. Al popped in while I was trying to 'convince' Cathy to stay longer, and was properly awe struck. She insisted she had to go help Donna with the preparations and I relented, letting her up off the bed. Al was so busy gawking at me, he forgot to leer as she threw on her clothes. She gave me a kiss and was out the door.

"Looks like you're doing a pretty good job of keeping them together," Al commented when we were alone.

"I'm trying my best," I smiled at him.

"So what's going on in here?" he pointed to his temple. "I know something is, so spill it. It's something we need to talk about."

"That's a switch," I snapped, making him stare even more. "Careful Al," I began, pulling on my pants. "You may not like what you hear." I'd done a lot of thinking in the previous hours, and finally had most of my feelings sorted out.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked suspiciously, probably wondering if I'd done any damage he didn't know about yet.

"So how did they tell you to deal with me, anyway?" I asked. "I'm curious."

"What? Who?" he stammered, confusion written on his face. I decided to have it out. As much as I might want to preserve my secret a while longer, the nature of the leap made it impossible for both of us. "Beeks and Donna. What line did they tell you to feed me?"

Al stood with his mouth open, speechless.

"Oh come on, can't you think up a quick lie? You seem pretty good at that!"

"Oh my god..." was all he could manage.

It wasn't enough. "What's the matter, Al, can't you ever think for yourself without my wife telling you what to do?!"

"You do remember--" he half asked, half stated.

"I lied," I confessed, pleased with myself. "Actually, based on data input I determined that from a psychological standpoint, the only safe course of action would be to continue with the illusion of memory loss, dealing with the simo-leaping and my wife...until such a time when it could be deemed appropriate to tell everyone the truth. In your best interests, of course," I stressed. "Unfortunately, the nature of this leap forces me to reveal the situation for what it is." Put that in your cigar and smoke it.

Al opened his mouth to say something, but I knew it wasn't to me. He turned his attention to the handlink and was about to start pushing buttons.

I jumped off the bed and lunged, as if to yank the thing out of his hand. "Don't!" I yelled. He paused. "Goddammit, can't you for once think for yourself? Talk to me! Put that fucking thing away, get rid of the assholes monitoring and talk to me!"

Al did as he was told. "You don't understand..." he began.

"Oh, I understand, too well," I told him. I could hear the tears in my voice, as all the pent up emotions poured out. "Who's side are you on, Al -- mine or hers?"

"Always yours!" he insisted vehemently.

"Then stop listening to her and lying to me! I don't like being manipulated, and I won't have it any longer."

"You're not thinking clearly--"

"I said, stop it! I can't have it the way it's been. You, my friend, are the only thing in my life I can say is real. At least I thought so until now...is it?" I asked, acid in my tone. "Or is our friendship as much a pretend as everything else?"

"How can you think that?!" Al pleaded. "It's not true!"

"Prove it. Be my friend again. No more lying, manipulating, hiding, because that's not my idea of friendship."

Al looked up at the ceiling as if expecting help.

"He's not even going to help you on this one."

"Listen to me, Sam..."

"You're still doing it!" I interrupted him. "Looking around for Ziggy or Beeks or someone to tell you what to do, how to handle me. You let me believe that after the first few leaps it was more you than them. After all I've said, it's not getting through. Well, that's it. Either talk to me or get the hell out and consider our friendship over. We'll just be two people working together. What's it gonna be?" I held my breath and tried to pretend my life didn't depend on his answer. Maybe it was the way he wanted it. How could I be sure of anything anymore?

"We've been through too much together to end it that easily."

"Try me babe. I need a friend, not a patronizing martyr. You've done that one into the ground."

Al hung his head. I could tell I'd stung, it was as if the life had gone out of him and he'd given up, was merely waiting for me to finish the job. Why wasn't he fighting back? It's what I wanted. Then I remembered, he's not the easiest person for me to pick a fight with.

"I never meant to hurt any of you, especially you," I began. "But I have. I've turned Donna from an independent scientist to a clinging bitch and you into a self-sacrificing baby-sitter. Well I'm gonna put that right. The more I think about it, the more I know what I did was wrong. I was selfish. I told myself I was thinking of her, but if it was true I would've realized that sometimes pain and difficulties create a stronger person. I had no business sticking my nose where it didn't belong. My rule was one which never should have been broken."

"You had help," Al reminded me.

Leave it to him to try and steal all my guilt. "Yes," I allowed. "I'm not the only one who had a lesson to learn." I softened even more. Harder than picking a fight with Al was staying mad at him, no matter what the reason. I loved him too much. "Don't get me wrong, I love you for what you've done for me. I've relied on your support. So I guess I'm to blame."

"So you want me to stop saying yes to you?" he asked skeptically, focusing on the minor points. The 'ripping out guts' kind of talks weren't easy for him to deal with.

I sighed, smiling slightly. He did have a point. "No, I kinda like the idea." He gave me a knowing look. "Okay, so I encourage you. You make it impossible to resist."

"Same here," Al admitted.

"Is it?" God help me, another nasty thought pushed its way into the open and insisted on breaking free. Was I really that intent on self-destruction? "Or is it just that you can't say no to me because you're feeling guilty for all the lies?"

Al reacted as if I'd dealt him a physical blow. "Don't do this to us," he whispered. I could tell he was fighting tears.

" _You_ did it!" I reminded him.

"Do you think I like this situation any better than you do?" Al asked, regaining his animation. "You're the only real friend I have -- the only real _anything_ I have. I'm trying, for once in my miserable life, to do right by someone, be there for someone instead of just for myself. And you're throwing it back in my face!"

"Oh God, Al!" I cried. "I thought all this was behind you now, that you believed in yourself."

"It seemed like it was behind me...when you were there for me."

Now it was my turn to reel from the blow. I stared at him, he stared at me, both of us stunned by the sharp words. I could tell he regretted speaking them, but we both knew it was too late now.

"Dear god, Sam--I didn't--"

I pointed a finger at him, forbidding any more lies. "That's what you've denied us. Can't you see? By not being honest with me, you weren't giving me any chance to be a friend to you. I'm still here for you Al, I always have been and I always will be...if you let me." I moved closer, pinning him with a deep, probing gaze. "I'm _here_ ," I insisted. "I remember when you held me after Donna left me at the altar, and how we sat up all night getting plastered after Ruth died. How you almost hated me for pulling your nose out of the bottle but I did it anyway, and how you wouldn't let me give up on my dream even when everyone thought I was crazy including me, because you believed in me. And I want every minute of those twenty years back, Al! I want us back."

"You...remembered..."

I saw how much it meant to him in his face. It bothered him that I didn't remember how long we were friends, even though he passed it over lightly. Hell, I could understand how it must have felt. All he had to deal with. "You're not alone, Al. If I have to keep reminding you of that every single day, I will. Do I make myself clear?"

Al swallowed, and I could tell he was bracing himself for something. "I thought I'd lost you," he confessed quietly. "When you first leaped and couldn't remember anything. Then I got you back, only it wasn't really the same you. By then I was starting to wonder who _I_ was. The only thing certain was that you would be waiting for me to pop in as a hologram and help you get through the leap."

It all fell in on me then. When was the last time Al spoke so freely to me about his feelings? All those years during my leaping, and he barely admitting having any. No problems, no pain, he kept everything bottled up inside. "I never asked!" I realized, horrified with myself.

"You had other things on your mind," he told me sternly. "And when and if you did, I wasn't about to tell you anything."

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Now that we'd taken turns being honest, we each knew exactly what the other was going through. "Maybe I've screwed up your life, too."

"Sam Beckett! I've done quite a nice job of that myself, thank you."

"Well...that's true," I had to admit with a small smile.

"Tina told me you never even hesitated."

"Huh?" I asked. He confused me by going into a totally different topic. Diversion or genuine desire, I didn't know.

"When you jumped back into the Accelerator," he supplied.

I knew how he must have felt when he returned to 1999 and discovered the truth of what I'd done, with his martyr complex. The fact that he would have lived with it in silence was almost more than I could bear. It must have nearly killed him.

"I just wanted to let you know that I... I mean, I..."

"I know," I let him off the hook gently. "But before you get too choked up about it, just remember, I'm the selfish one. I didn't do it for you, I did it for me. No way was I gonna go through life without you in it. I need you too much."

Al was silent for awhile, trying to pull himself together. Finally, he replied. "You're not that selfish, either," he defended me.

"Maybe not," I conceded. "I guess it means I'd do _anything_ for you, too." He hadn't said those words now, but I knew they'd been said. It frustrated me that I couldn't place the time in my mind. I guessed there were still a few holes to fill in after all.

Al nodded in acceptance of what passed between us. "Thank you."

 _For giving you back to me_ ; I could hear the thoughts behind the words. "It's as it should be," I told him.

"What are you doing about the leap?" Al asked, subdued. It was weird to see, but I thought I could get to like it.

"It's time for me to put right what I made wrong," I told him. "I've already begun to set it up so that Cathy doesn't doubt Marty's love, and Donna and Chester get married."

"And you call yourself selfish?" he asked pointedly.

I just smiled at him.

"What's that smile for?" he asked suspiciously.

He knew me too well. I stuck my face close to his. "It means you ask too many questions. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wedding to get ready for."

Al watched me root around in Marty's closets. I could see his mind racing a mile a minute behind that thick skull of his, digesting all we'd discussed.

"You called her a clingy bitch. Was she that bad?"

"She's...not a Tina." It looked like it was time to practice what I was preaching, though I hoped he'd let it go at that and not press for an explanation of my enigmatic words.

"You're kidding, right? Tina would kick my butt if I cheated on her. Donna seemed very understanding."

 _Honesty_ , I reminded myself. _Oh Al..._ I considered telling him everything, finally deciding on half-truth. He'd find out about Tina and Gooshie soon enough on his own. Besides, I was still Tina's friend. It must have been hard for her to always be there for him, taking what little was left over after the Project and I had what we needed. Yet it was obvious she didn't want to hurt him, wanted to be there when he needed her. I hoped the lesson he'd learned from his leap would help him when the time came. I knew how Al could be. Not long on understanding when it came to women and infidelity. Theirs, not his. No, that was wrong. I got the impression that he'd stopped sleeping around on her. Life just wasn't fair sometimes. Of course, it would provide me with a perfect opportunity to put Al to the test. When he found out about her, he'd have to tell me about it if he was going to honor our new agreement.

"That's not what I meant," I finally told him. "She wanted me to leave you there to die." There, it was out. "All she cared about was getting me back -- even if it cost your life."

"She loved you, Sam," he reminded me quietly.

"So do you, and I know what choice you'd make."

"That's different."

"You're damn right it is. That's why I jumped back into the Accelerator. I can understand it, but I can't accept it. I don't know what kind of man Donna wants, but I'm not him. Maybe Chester is."

"I would've killed to have a woman who loves me as she loves you."

"But I already have someone who loves me even more."

Al's eyes widened.

"If you did have such a woman and were in my place?" I challenged. "And she told you she didn't care I was about to die?" I was trying to get him to open his eyes to the truth.

Al was silent so long I wondered if he was going to answer, but his eyes never left mine. "You know the answer to that," he finally told me.

"That's why I'm here," I agreed. "You've spoiled me in more ways than one."

"Sam--"

I glanced at the clock, it was later than I realized. I was going to leave our conversation hanging abruptly, but had work to do. Besides, I wanted to give us both time to think...about a lot of things.

"I gotta go," I said reluctantly. "I don't want to be late for my divorce."

"See you there," he managed--just barely.

XXX

Seeing Donna again didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. Maybe things could have been different, in another reality. But that wasn't in the cards for me. I had a feeling they had whole other plans for me...plans which would no doubt surprise the hell out of me. Or, maybe not...

One thing I decided, I wasn't going to be as selfish as in the past. I was luckier than most people ever are. I'd had a second chance. Al was right about that, when I leaped home to Indiana. Instead of appreciating the gift I'd been given, I insisted on altering it. Playing God, refusing to accept the fact that dying is a part of life. Too blind in my own pain to consider how my actions were affecting other's lives. Could I put the blame on my swiss-cheese memory? No. Caring so much is what makes me so good at my job, but there's a difference between compassion and empathy. One is necessary, the other dangerous.

"Are you okay?" came a soft voice next to me.

I turned to Al. By the look on his face, he must have been remembering a similar time I prepared for a wedding with Donna. I nodded. "Memories are cheap reality. What's going on in the present--whichever present it is--is what counts. Right now all I can offer Donna is memories I don't even share. I might not ever be able to offer her anything else. Even if I tried...there's too much between us now."

"Me?" Al ventured brazenly.

I grinned at him. "When you tried to open my eyes about her I wouldn't listen. Now just by being you, without trying, you inadvertently showed me the truth."

"I'm sorry you had to get hurt. All you wanted was the woman you loved back."

"You've managed to take the sting out of quite a few nasty situations in my life. This is no exception."

We smiled at each other as the weight of too many bad memories and clashes between us lifted. A new start.

"Speaking of memories," Al began. "You're making me one confused guy. I never know who's going to be waiting for me when I step out of the Imaging Chamber, or what new memories I'll have. Are you driving me crazy on purpose?" he asked with a grin.

"Is it that bad?"

"I'm the Keeper of the Timelines," he intoned dramatically, making me laugh. Then he turned serious. "I'm keeping track of everything as best I can...for you. It's all waiting for you, Sam. No more secrets."

"That's all I ask."

"Talking to the plants, now?" a voice asked, making me jump. "Anyone would think you're the one getting hitched."

I turned to face the usher who'd approached me, recognizing him from the party. Behind me, Al snickered. "Uh, just thinking out loud."

"Right. Listen, a telegram just came for Donna. Could you get Cathy to give it to her?"

"Sure," I agreed. As he went back to his duties, I stared down at the envelope, a foreboding washing over me.

"What is it Sam?"

"Telegram's are never good news." I tore it open.

"Sam!" Al admonished in surprise.

I stared at the writing inside, memories I should not be having filtering into my consciousness. It was a notice to Donna, her father had died. I remembered her telling me about it, how she'd been so distraught she couldn't even think straight. She ran off without telling anyone what happened. Naturally, Chester assumed she left him at the altar. By the time she pulled herself together and went back to explain, it was too late, he'd married someone else on the rebound. Shortly after, she met me...

"What is it?" Al asked urgently.

"Nothing important," I assured him, putting the telegram safely in my pocket, where it would stay until Marty himself found it.

XXX

Donna looked beautiful as she walked down the isle, face radiating happiness. Mercifully, I still had no memories of our wedding, the one we'd both been to. I still had the pain of the aborted one. I glanced at Al, dismayed to see the beginning of wetness in his eyes.

"Don't get me started," I hissed at him.

"Weddings always make me cry," he tried to defend himself. "Especially--"

"Your own," I finished for him, grateful for the attempt at levity. "I'm not surprised. Al..." I asked, eyes on the bride. "Have I ever...did I _ever_ make her that happy?"

"She loved you, even if her idea of love was different from yours. Always remember that, Sam."

Seemed like he'd learned some important lessons himself.

I watched as the bride and groom took their places and said their I do's. Finally, I turned over the ring to Chester, some cosmic poetic justice there, no doubt. I watched as he put the ring on Donna's finger, and found a loving smile from somewhere to throw at Cathy.

The couple kissed.

Then I kissed the bride, my own goodbye. "I wish you all the happiness in the world, Donna," I murmured; I meant it more than she'd ever know. Giving Chester a congratulatory hug, I whispered in his ear, "Take good care of her."

It was over, and only slightly like root canal. I turned to Al as the happy couple left the church. "How'd I do?" The moment of truth.

Al consulted Ziggy. "In the years after the honeymoon, Donna worked on a number of innovative scientific projects. Chester seemed to take very well to being a housefrau...she didn't deserve you," he commented suddenly.

"What?" I asked, surprised by his sudden change in attitude. "Why?"

"I don't think there's anyone in the universe who could measure up to that honor," he answered.

Several replies ran through my head, like, if he ever came across anyone who'd like to apply for the job, to let me know.

"Oh, I don't know about that," I finally said. "But is that your way of telling me you're proud of me?" I asked around the lump in my throat.

"Well, you make me have to say it so damn often, I gotta start coming up with new ways to get the message across."

Seeing the limo with 'just married' on the back as it rode off into the sunset was something I could do without. I had no regrets, but there was a lot of pain associated with the entire situation, for too many different reasons. "So everything turned out okay? Can I leave now?"

Al nodded, glancing at the handlink. "Did you know that divorce is an epidemic?" He looked up at me. "Sam--"

I never found out what he was about to say. I felt the leap taking me over, and gladly surrendered myself to another adventure.

**the end**

9/21/91


End file.
